Things I don't like. Not even a little.

I was just sitting here (at work, of course) and I remembered pumping gas during a really bad thunderstorm. I have no idea where it came from, just popped into my head. So I thought I would make a list of things I seriously dislike....

1. Thunderstorms - don't like 'em. Never have. Never will.
2. Pumping gas in a thunderstorm. That was very nerve-racking. Although, I have to say me and my fellow gas-pumpers were all a little white-faced by the end.
3. Breaking a tooth just before a holiday. Not only do you get the pain of a broken tooth, you get to pay extra to get it fixed. Great!
4. Tomatoes. About every two years I'll suck it up and try one, thinking eventually I'll grow to like them. I'm nearly forty...I don't think it's gonna happen.
5. Rude people. Cursing doesn't bother me. I can cuss like a sailor if neccessary. What I hate is people with no manners. No 'please', 'thank you', 'excuse me'.... It drives me nuts. If you need to talk instead of me, say excuse me, let me shut up and then talk. Don't just f*cking interupt.
6. Not saying "bless you" when someone sneezes. Sort of goes with the politeness thing. I don't care what you believe in or don't believe in - you can say 'bless you'; meaning I hope you don't have a head cold.
7. People that drive under the speed limit - "because it's safer." What?!? So you drive like an idiot which makes me drive like a maniac to get around your slow butt. Yeah, that makes sense.
8. Pushy sales people. And I include annoying telemarketers in this one. When I politely say, "No, thank you," freakin' listen. Don't make me tell you again. I used to be a telephone survey taker and I never pushed anyone. My bosses hated it but I didn't care and I had good numbers. If I want something, I'll tell you. If I don't, leave me the heck alone.
9. Cleaning the litter box. I'm not real thrilled about cleaning in general. I feel like there are so many more (better) things to do with my time. Watching paint dry is higher on the list. But cleaning the litter box just sucks. And stinks. And I feel so guilty about putting all that litter and poop in the landfill. There's got to be a better way.
10. Flys. Do they really have a purpose? I mean, if they were to become extinct would the world end? I don't think so. Same thing with mosquitoes. Do we really NEED them? Are they really neccessary for the world to keep turning?

So it could just be me and maybe I'm completely wrong. Why is it always the littlest things that drive us crazy?

Goodness, I love a holiday.

Just in case you missed the sarcasm in the title, it's July the 4th. I work at a 911 center. At the beach. In a county that doesn't allow personal fireworks.

It's been an interesting transition going from a small rural county to a busier vacation place with multiple jurisdictions. It's definitely a learning process and even with 3yrs experience, I'm constantly questioning things and learning new things.

For instance the fireworks thing. Three localities in our county do not allow any type of fireworks; no firecrackers, no sparklers, nothing. One is the northern most town, the next is in the middle of the county and the last is the most southern area of the county. There are multiple towns in between each one and they will allow fireworks that are not self-propelled or explode, i.e. bottle rockets. See the problem? It's not a simple answer of "No fireworks." It's a, "Well, where are you lighting the fireworks?" And I wonder: what if you light it and then toss it over the line, does it count?

The best part of the whole issue is: local business sell all kinds of fireworks in the county. Now don't you think it would make just a little sense to stop the sale of something that's illegal to use. I don't know, maybe it's just me. I could be wrong.

I wish you a happy and very safe 4th of July. Hopefully, you'll never have to call me at my job.

You will be missed.

The world is a little dimmer now. Not quite as funny. We lost a great comedic mind this past weekend. George Carlin passed away at age 71. For so many years we laughed at his humor and hopefully thought a little more about the silly things in life.

HBO is showing all his specials starting tonight. I'm personally going to try and catch "Carlin at Carnegie." It's a great memory of my teenage years and I'll be glad to re-live it. If you don't giggle during the "Dirty Words" you may need a break.

That and: "How do you know you don't like it...." I use that all the time.

Mr. Carlin, you will be missed. Thank you for being irreverrant, smart and oh so funny.

p.s. "We're all f*cked. It helps to remember that." CG
http://www.georgecarlin.com/home/home.html

Poopin'

Today I thought of two pearls of wisdom I've learned about poopin'.

First: The wisest thing I've every heard probably....ever, is "Never poop where you eat." For those of you who've never heard the original saying, it means don't date the people you work with. And it's completely true. Now I know there are the 3 couples out there that found true love on the job. Happy for ya. But for the other 10 million of us....BAD IDEA! I learned my lesson over ten years ago and it still holds true today. Don't poop where you eat.

Second: A bear and a rabbit are sitting side by side in woods, each of them taking a poop. After a while, the bear looks at the rabbit and asks, "Do you have trouble with poop sticking to your fur?" The rabbit thinks about it and then answers, "No, not really." So the bear picks up the rabbit and wipes his behind with him.
Morale of the story: If a bear EVER asks you if poop sticks to you...SAY YES!

Dammit, Dammit, Dammit

First off....I apologize for the language.

Ever had one of those days where everything seems to be going good and then....Bam! Blond moment. Not one of those cute ones you can laugh off or just blame on the cat. One of those that can possibly get you written up at work types. Nothing dangerous or life-threatening...just V-8, head-smacker moment. The type of thing to make you look completely stoopid in front of the people you work with everyday. Jeez, I hate it when that happens.


Note: For those of you who are not blond (is it blond or blonde - save it for another time)....just pick your moment: Senior moment, Homer moment, dropped on my head as a babe moment....you get the idea.

Introduction

My blog's title is not intended to offend anyone. It's purely aimed at myself. I am blonde (from birth) and have multiple blonde moments a day it seems. From the stupid things that just "happen" to fall out of my mouth to tripping over my own feet....it's all in a day for me. The bad part of this is I'm supposed to be the responsible one....I'm a 911 dispatcher. I'm the person you call for help. I'm the one telling the cops where to go. Isn't this just the craziest world?

I have a strange sense of humor, so be warned. From observation, I think it comes with the job (or maybe you need it to stay).